People have been faking Shakespeare since the sixteenth century. No, I am not talking about that conspiracy theory, which, to the chagrin of (proper) Shakespeare scholars everywhere, has been given renewed attention with the impending release of that film, which I won't be linking to here. My purpose is not to address the so-called authorship "controversy" that motivates the film -- others have already written on this matter with force and eloquence, showing that this can only be considered a "controversy" if one totally and completely ignores the entire historical record, not to mention the evidentiary materials and intellectual principles upon which that record is based.